College Essays Should NOT Be Written in Fancy-Schmancy Style!

I had previously blogged about what not to do in college essays (https://www.acaciadmissions.com/admission-case-studies-success-stories/what-not-to-write-in-your-college-essays). This post can be seen as an addendum to my previous post. More importantly, I think it's a timely warning to any student who thinks that writing in some fancy style, and/or using big words, will impress admission readers. Let's get straight to the point with some "failed attempts" and some "nice!" examples.

Failed Example 1:

* As my tenure in the club lengthened, I made more friends. 

My suggestion: With time, I made more friends in the club.

Failed Example 2:

* Poker enthralled me because of its air of complex mental calculation, thoughtful psychological strategy, and simple exhilaration.

My suggestion: No words. This is simply a horrific attempt at putting big words together without making any sense. 

Next, I present two examples of depth in content, using very simple words.

“Nice!” Example 1:

The author was describing a hoarder, and with very simple words, the hoarding situation is vividly and powerfully presented:

" We were standing beside stacks of...mineral bottles in Kent's galley kitchen. Despite his chronic lack of space, Kent was a disciple of bulk purchasing."

Source: "How to Practice" by Ann Patchett, The New Yorker, March 1, 2021

“Nice!” Example 2:

The depth in the writing comes not from putting big words together but rather, it's in the mature analysis of the experience of the fallen soldier:

“... soldier hearing the victory horn from the triumphant troop. His recognition of victory is doubly wounding since it is not his experience but his interpretation of what the victory would have been, could have felt like. Victory is so much more vivid in his loss.”

Source: "How to Throw Away the Memories Our Kids Leave Behind" by Lenore Pott, Grown and Flown, February 18, 2017.  

Good writing is definitely not attempts at manipulation of words. A good essay is actually many years in the making. If you don’t have what it takes, just stick to writing in a simple, honest style and impress with a good story instead.

As for those who are not applying to college yet, do yourself a favor by reading widely. Learn from good writers. That is the most efficient way to improve your writing and analytical skills.